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Dear Carol, All day I've been sitting in your chair, the same chair that you died in. Last night I feel asleep there, with the tiger blanket that Arnie said they took you away in. Today I wore your coat. I drove your car, and even got into places with your old ID. Yesterday when I packed to come, I brought some dressy shoes for your visitation. Today I realized they didn't match, both for the left. Arnie let me try on your shoes, and we found a pair that fit. He gave me some of your T-shirts. I took a shower in your shower, used your soap, and your shampoo, dried off with your towels, even used your toothbrush and your face cream. I wanted to smell you. People used to say that we were sisters. Mary brought over pictures of our trips to Europe. I saw you as the spirit I've always admired, and I sat crying with such joy and sadness. I could never get enough of you. I know you had to go. I feel so fortunate to have had those two weeks with you in August. I understand, though I wish you were still here. I love you so much.

All the wonderful memories! Thank you Carol Heller for talking Carol and Leah into joining our pretty average softball team back in 1976. My, oh my, we sure had fun and were pretty darn good, too. Especially having the ace pitcher that we had in Carol. Before we knew it we were playing volleyball and bowling together, not to mention all the games of sheepshead, trips to Joe Rohr's, awesome tailgating and Packer games. Carol and I also became golfing buddies, but because Carol had to have the course to herself, we usually hit the links before the courses opened and the dew was off the grass. Carol was a very good golfer and it was something that she really missed after she got breast cancer. Once after a golf outing we were chatting and I mentioned that going to Europe was on my bucket list. Well, we ended up making over 25 trips before we lost count. I could write a book about all of our trips. I must admit though, that going 90 mph on the autobahn made me a bit nervous, but Carol loved it. Oh, how she loved the Bavarian and Austrian Alps! Carol was the most generous person I have ever known. She was always doing what she could for others. Making her famous chocolates and chocolate chip cookies for her friends, family, and co-workers, cooking for any occasion, packing snack bags for my niece Kristen's students who missed the morning free breakfast at school, and making hundreds of sandwiches for St. John's Homeless Shelter. These are just a couple examples of her generosity. Carol was very brave when cancer struck her 5 years ago. We had a scheduled trip to Europe right after her 1st chemo session and she insisted on going. While there her hair fell out in handfuls and she never complained or felt sorry for herself. Her greatest love in life was her beloved husband Arnie. I was with her when she found out her cancer had returned last spring. I'll never forget how she ran into Arnie's arms and wept softly. She brought so much joy to my life and I will miss her dearly. All her pain is gone now and we must all find a way to cope with ours. My deepest sympathy to Arnie, Kim, Kelly, relatives and friends. Auf Weidersehen, my friend.